The Myth of the Stubborn Dog

I see you.

What If Your Dog Isn't Being Difficult?

"My dog is stubborn."

It's one of the most common descriptions dog owners use when talking about their dogs. As if their dogs are capable of defending an intellectual argument about why pulling towards another dog was the correct decision. Or choosing a moral position that they were right to run circles in the park while their owner is back at the car calling for the 76^th time to “Get in the car!” when they got in perfectly fine yesterday.

Some dogs seem determined to do the exact opposite of what their owner wants.

When these moments happen, it is tempting to assume the dog is being difficult, defiant, or stubborn - a dog ignoring a command or cue and outrightly ‘choosing’ to disobey – they are untrainable.

But what if they aren't?

What if "stubbornness" is simply a human label we apply on dogs when we don't yet understand what is happening beneath the behaviour?

Dogs Don't Choose To Disagree With Us

Humans – now, we as a species – we are capable of stubbornness. We can argue a point we know is so wrong that we refuse to change our minds simply because we don't want to be embarrassed.

We can decide to do the opposite of what someone asks simply because we don't like being told what to do. Yes, we all know an elderly relative who does this!

Dogs don't think this way.

Dogs are far more "immediate". Their behaviour is shaped by emotions, motivations, experiences, instincts, and learning history. You can think of these influences as different lenses through which dogs experience the world.

Some dogs operate by emotions, others by instincts. Some dogs seem to have a happy lens on all the time and love playing everywhere they go. Others will play only at Park A but not Park B.

The environmental context will influence which lens is applied to produce the behaviour that feels good to the dog. The degree of environmental influence can range from changes in temperature to changes in noise level and everything in between.

So, when a dog does something is inapproriate, dangerous or simply out of context, it is usually because that behaviour makes sense to them in that moment.

The challenge for us is to understand why.

What Looks Like Stubbornness Might Actually Be...

Overwhelm

Imagine being asked to solve a maths equation while standing in the middle of a concert of your all-time favourite band.

You probably know the answer, but you just can't access it under all the screaming, doof-doof music and bright lights! There is just so much to take in.

Dogs can experience something similar in unfamiliar spaces, or in spaces they simply do not have the cognitive capacity to fully perceive calmly.

A dog who appears to be ignoring their owner may simply be struggling to process information because the environment has become too exciting, stressful, or distracting.

Fear

Fear in dogs can look surprisingly stubborn.

You’ll know because you have a dog who refuses to walk past a particular gate. Or you might have a dog who won't get into the car, who freezes when asked to enter a busy café.

Simply looking at these dogs, it may look as though they are refusing.

From the dog's perspective, they may be trying to stay safe.

Willow started to become wary of vet clinics since we emigrated to Australia. It may have to do with the multiple pet holding facilities she had to transfer through on the way from Scotland, as well as the prolonged stay in quarantine. From her point of view, these facilities removed her from where she felt safest – with her family and her pack, her familiar surroundings, routines and emotional climate.

So, to help her be comfortable going to see Kay and Robyn at our favourite vet clinic in Bicton, we walk her past the clinic a few times a week and treat her to a puppycino or chew stick at the café a few doors down the street. It doesn’t stop her from digging her heels in when we need to go for an appointment, but she does not freak out when she enters the clinic.

Confusion

Sometimes dogs genuinely do not understand what is being asked of them. Like how we step out of a plane into the Charles de Gaulle terminal and all the signs are in French, and your French doesn’t go beyond “Bonjour, deux croissants s’il vous plait”.

Getting to your hotel could feel like a game of snakes and ladders.

A cue that works perfectly in your kitchen with the rescue you’ve had for four months may not yet make sense on even your own private drive, never mind at the local park across the road.

Dogs do not automatically generalise learning the way humans do. They are contextual learners and their brain and body need repeated practice in different places to develop versatile behaviour.

What appears to be stubbornness may simply be a gap in understanding.

Arrêtez-vous, faites une pause et soyez curieux.

Stop, pause and be curious :)

Competing Priorities

Sometimes the environment is simply more interesting than we are. Remember our maths equation at the rock concert scenario? Well, who cares about a maths question when you are busy singing along “So what! I’m still a Rock Star. I got my Rock Moves.  And I don’t need you.”

Same with your fully sensing, fully engaged dog out on a bush walk – a scent trail, a mob of kangaroos, a dog on the path, a dropped half eaten beef jerky and your dog is bellowing “I got my Rock Moves…” in his head.

In those moments, your dog is not necessarily choosing to ignore you.

They are responding to something they find incredibly valuable.

Training helps us become part of that equation rather than competing against it.

We ran in the Scottish hills lots – everyday, rain, shine or hail. Sooner or later, Willow would catch a scent and shoot off over the heather. A deer or two would flush from the hillside and within seconds both dogs would disappear over the horizon in full pursuit. No amount of shouting would bring them back in that moment.

Instead of framing their failure to respond to recall as stubbornness, I had to understand that the deer had become the priority.

So we spent months becoming the priority.

There was a lot less trail running during those months than I had imagined.

But there was a lot of learning.

And that's often the difference between seeing a stubborn dog and understanding one.

The Question We Ask Matters

When we label a dog as stubborn, we often stop asking questions.

The label becomes the explanation. The label in this article is “Stubbornness” but it could also be “Laziness”, “Unmotivated”, or “Naughty”. The explanations, however, do not help us learn, much less in the case of our dogs’ learning.

Knowing what labels do, it would serve us better to reframe the situation influencing our dogs’ behaviour.

At Pretty Happy Dogs, we prefer a different question:

What is making this difficult for my dog right now?

THIS question changes everything.

It shifts us from frustration to curiosity.

From judgement to understanding.

From conflict to problem-solving.

Rowan, Willow and The Value of Looking Deeper

Rowan and Willow taught me this lesson in very different ways.

Rowan was thoughtful and steady - highly cerebral, almost philosophical. He often seemed to consider situations set against the opportunity costs, effort required, risk-benefit calculations and whether or not he 'could be bothered' before acting. If he decided something wasn't worth doing, convincing him otherwise could require a surprising amount of negotiation.

But when he acted, it would be with 100% commitment, full participation and zero subtlety.

Sometimes it was embarrassing but thankfully, it was mostly just amusing.

Willow, on the other hand, approaches life with enthusiasm, curiosity, and a willingness to throw herself into new experiences – even before she has formed any strategic plan to execute the task. She could catch a scent or a glimmer in the woods and within milliseconds, her entire being is immersed in the experience of said scent. We would turn around and she would be trotting, nose and tail high as kites, on a completely different path to ours – in her own little world of imagination and exploration.

Yet neither dog was 'stubborn'.

When either of them struggled, there was always a reason.

Sometimes it was excitement. Sometimes it was uncertainty. Sometimes it was simply that the environment was asking more of them than they were ready to give.

My answer was never to become frustrated. My answer was to stay curious – be filled with wonder about what could be happening beneath their behaviour.

Understanding Creates Better Training

The goal of dog training is never about winning arguments you have with your ‘stubborn’ dog. It is certainly not about proving who is 'in charge'.

And it is absolutely not trying to ‘transform’ your dog into something that completely stops being themselves. Dogs need to be just that – themselves – thinking, feeling, acting dog-like.

The goal is to help dogs develop the skills they need to thrive in a human-governed world – calmness, connection, confidence.

That all begins with understanding, especially when they struggle with these skills.

Because when we stop seeing stubborn dogs and start seeing emotional, thinking, learning animals, we become better teachers.

And our dogs become more capable learners.

The Pretty Happy Dogs Approach

At Pretty Happy Dogs, we believe behaviour is communication.

Every behaviour tells a story – like when Willow goes following a scent - a story about excitement, maybe fear, maybe confusion. Investigate with your dog.

Sometimes it is simply about being a dog in a world full of interesting things and they are drawn to rocking their doggy moves to the music.

Before we label a dog as stubborn, we owe it to them to become even a teeny tiny bit curious. What looks like stubbornness on the surface is often something very different underneath – and very interesting indeed. The moment we become curious about the reason, we stop fighting the dog and start being helpful in their learning.